The Wrong Kind of Paradox
by CaliforniaDreamer
Summary: They had the perfect family. No one needed to their secret. At least, not until he came back. Because, after all, it was him who was responsible for this mess. Deals with Lit and Narco, but mainly undertones.
1. We've Only Just Begun

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I think we know where this is going...don't own it, don't sue me.**

AN: So…I suck. I can't update my other stories. They aren't going anywhere. This, however, has prospect, and I shall have written several chapters before this ever meets your eyes. Oh, few things you need to know: Dean and Lindsey dated, but broke up. He never proposed. Jess left, but didn't come back. Basically, season 4 didn't happen. Oh, and I am a major literati, but I don't think this will get more than hints of it…you'll see why.

The Wrong Kind of Paradox 

**_Prologue_**—_We've Only Just Begun_

           And then they kissed. Like there was nothing else, just him, her, and a small veil of space between them. 

           They started out slowly, just a soft, sweet succession of temptation. The kisses became more heated, more rapid. She could feel the passion he held, leaking out and filling her with fire. Her throat welled up with it, until suddenly, they were falling…

           He was holding her. So delicate.  So fragile. So his.  He didn't want to break her; she was to be handled with care. But he pushed all thoughts out of his mind, and let himself be completely immersed in her embrace. So they sunk back, the soft fabric beneath them. 

           And she was his. And he was hers. For forever, for a moment. Time became lost, through their eyes.

            Lorelai Gilmore was sitting on the front steps of her house when her daughter arrived home that night.

           "Oh, darling daughter of mine! Home at last!"

           "Lock yourself out again?"

           "You know it. I was beginning to think I would never see the glorious inside of this beloved establishment again!"

           "And you've been out here how long?"

           "Oh, I'd say a good two minutes," Lorelai responded with a grin.

           "Well, in that case, I'm terribly sorry I left you here, to battle the perils of nature on your own," joked Rory.

           Lorelai grinned. "Someone's happy."

            "I am in a terribly peachy mood tonight, aren't I?" 

            "Did you do something slutty?" Lorelai joked.

           Rory blushed, ever so slightly. She began to fumble around with her key, sliding her hands around her belt and slipping it off the loops. "Um…so, want to watch a movie? Willy Wonka sound good?"

            "What?" Lorelai scrunched her face up into a frown, but it was quickly replaced with the horror of understanding. "Oh…oh…I was just…you…really? You, him, you?" she ended desperately, hoping for her daughter's face to tell her it was all just a misunderstanding. She found nothing. No. This, this wasn't happening. "Come in. We…we need to talk." And then she would kill Jess. No, scratch that. Have a nice chat with Mr. Vodka, then kill Jess.

           The two girls walked into the house, considerably less perky than before. Lorelai stumbled on her thoughts for a second, before she could make any coherent sentences. 

           "Ok. So, correct me if I'm wrong but…you…Jess…you…you…" Ok, so maybe not quite coherent.  But close enough. Rory's face blushed red. Lorelai wasn't sure if she was embarrassed to be discussing her first…experience…with her mom, or if she was ashamed that she put herself in this situation. Didn't matter, neither one was thinking straight enough for it to make a difference.

           "Ok. Well then. Umm. Yeah, not what I expected to come home to, but, uh…you were…he used a…right?" Rory's eyes got wide, as if suddenly remembering she'd left an important assignment behind. 

            "Oh…oh!" Way too many surprises tonight, this was too much, she couldn't deal with this! What was she supposed to do? Rory was supposed to be the responsible one! Then it hit her. She was 35. Rory was 18. She was the adult. That's what she needed to be. Too many years of being a best friend were crashing down on her with every second.

           "Ok." She said, finally forming some rationality. "We'll…I'll…make an appointment for you. You are getting tested—For everything. At the very least, we're putting you on the pill." There. That made sense. They could do this.

           Rory suddenly froze…tested? She hadn't even been thinking about…about that. She…she might be pregnant! '_Like mother, like daughter_,' she thought bitterly. How did this happen? She had been so happy and now…now she wanted to be five again, to have her mother kiss her boo-boos and make it all better. So, she did the only thing she could do. She cried.

           "Oh, Rory. Come here." Lorelai cradled her in her arms, stroking that soft blanket of hair.

           "Mom, I'm so stupid! I wasn't even thinking about that! I was just…he was there, and we were kissing, and…"

           "Shh, baby no. It'll be all right. We'll figure it out."

           "Mom! Yale!" Rory yelped, inching a bit back. 

            "We'll figure it out." Lorelai sighed. She was going to be saying that a lot lately. 

**_9 months later_**

            "MOM! I can't do this! I CAN'T! MOMMY!" Rory yelled in pain.

           "I know babe, but I'm pretty sure you have to push this thing out. Unless you want to wear maternity clothes your entire life. Then, by all means, keep it in there."

"Not. Help-AH!"

"Um, ok, that was my hand." Dean Forrester was by her side, they had gotten back together, first as friends, then as…something more. 

"SHUT UP! IN PAIN, HERE!"

"Ok, Ms. Gilmore, just push a little more…almost there…"

"ARGHHH!!!"

Five screams, three hand crushings, and enough swearing to make a PG-13 movie later, it was over. But, in reality, it had just started.

Twins. Two beautiful, perfect twins. Rory held her babies in her arms, with just her mother by her side.

"Oh, Ror, they're beautiful."

"Perfect. Mommy, they're perfect."

"Yeah," Lorelai smiled at her daughter. Her, beautiful, precious daughter. A mother on her own right. "Got names?"

"Mmm, yeah. Oliver Holden and Fiona Catherine Forrester."

"Nice," Lorelai grinned in approval. Wait."Forrester? You…and Dean?"

"He proposed right before my first contraction," Rory recalled, smiling a bit to herself. 

"How romantic," Lorelai smirked. 

"Mom?"

"Yeah, sweets?"

"Is wrong for me to wish Jess was here? I mean, its not that I want him, I'm over it, I swear, but…I can't help but feel he should be seeing this…I mean, I know he left, but…maybe if I…"

"Oh, babe. Don't beat yourself up over this. There's nothing wrong with wanting him to see them. He hurt you, but you loved him. You aren't gonna forget that. And, seeing them, it's going to remind you of him. He should be here, to see this. But he's not, and its not your fault. "

"Thanks mom."

"Anytime. Now, I believe we have a wedding to plan…"

TBC 


	2. White Picket Fences

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I think we know where this is going...don't own it, don't sue me.**

**AN: Ok, I have a feeling that many of you won't think this is very believable—it isn't. I know Rory wouldn't do some of the things she does. Don't worry, it will all be explained. I know its bizarre, but hang with me. Also, I just want to say, this story isn't about the Narco relationship. It's in there, but it's not the main thing. Partly because I don't know if I can write it. And Jess will make an appearance soon.  And I know this is short. I'm not too crazy about this chapter, but it was needed, and I'll update soon. Bear with me.**

**The Wrong Kind of Paradox**

**Chapter 1**— _White Picket Fences_

               "Come on Forrester!" screamed Libby Hanson, captain of the Stars Hollow youth soccer club. Fiona just shot a glare towards her. Could the girl just get off her case for one freaking second? She was _going _to kick the ball. It was just a matter of time.

               Unless the opposing team gets it first. Fi could hear Libby's exaggerated groan. Drama Queen. So what if she lost the game? What the heck was she supposed to get out of soccer anyway?

She walked up to her parents and brother after the game. Her dad looked a bit disappointed, and Fi suddenly remembered why she was doing this—her dad was some kind of athlete in high school. He figured his kids should 'follow in the old man's footsteps.' Never mind that their athletic ability—or lack thereof—seemed to come from their mother. 

It was strange that way; the twins seemed to take almost completely after their mother. Fiona, Fi, had straight, light brown hair that flowed half way down her back. Her eyes were a clear blue, a slightly darker shade than her mom's. Ollie had the same brown hair, but darker, like Lorelai, their grandmother. It was a completely mess, crazy and everywhere. Rory was always taking a comb to it. He had warm, dark eyes, but shared his mother's slightly pale complexion with his sister. Even weirder was the twins' build. They were both small, very skinny (like their mother), and weirdly short. Fiona just barely cleared 5'4, with Ollie standing a good 5'10. With a dad that tall, who would have thought?

"I just completely lost the game for us," Fi stated, with a hint of exhaustion in her voice.

"It's ok Fi, we'll win it next time. Come on, we'll stay after. I want to show you this trick; it should help your defense," Dean said eagerly.

Fiona was all set to protest, but that look…she didn't want to disappoint him. "Um, ok, I guess I don't mind staying for a few minutes."

Ollie shot his sister a look. What was she talking about? He saw her come off the field, with that 'I hate anything that involves running after moving objects' attitude in her stride. He shrugged it off; whatever. He turned to his mom, who motioned that they would be leaving now; let them have their Father-Daughter bonding moment.

Luke's Diner, later that night 

               The Forresters sat in the diner, talking over burgers and onion rings. Ollie and Fi were arguing (or debating, as they called it) about…something. Luke just heard the words 'cow manure'. Dean leaned over a bit to gently kiss his wife in the cheek. Any outsider would have deemed them 'the All-American' family. The kind you expect to come with white picket fences.

               "So, excited about going back to school, guys?" asked Rory.

               "Oh, sure. Massive assignments," Ollie said, dripping with sarcasm.

               "Preppy Chiltonites," Fi chimed in.

               "Thousand year old teachers who drone on and on about Spanish-American war…."

               "Okay guys, we get the point," Rory smirked.

               "Actually, it might not be too bad," Fi said, absentmindedly picking at an onion ring.

               "What?" Rory said, obviously surprised at the change in attitude.

               "Ah, she's just saying that because she misses seeing Jake." Ollie smirked, receiving a whack on the back of his head in the process.

               "There's a guy? Who? Why haven't we met him, or at least heard about him?" Dean asked, his tone concerned. 

               "Dad! It's nothing! Jake is just a friend! I don't remember you saying I had to have all my friends fingerprinted!" Fiona stopped; she realized she had been only slightly short of screaming.

               Dean quieted; he didn't mean for an argument to start. "I'm sorry Fi, I didn't mean to upset you…" Dean apologized, softly.

               Fiona sighed. "It's ok, I know you didn't." She went back to picking at her burger. 

               And just like that, everything was 'fine'. Huh. Ollie was thoroughly confused by what had just happened. Sure, he knew he started it, but what was that? His dad turning all protective, Fi snapping back? Neither one of the twins was very rebellious, but it was normally he who blew up at people, if it was going to happen at all. She was probably just tired, or something. But tension had been building up with her for a while, unless he was imagining it all…"Huh."

               "What, sweetie?" he heard his mom ask, awakening him from his thoughts. 

               "Oh, oh nothing," he hadn't even realized he was talking out loud. "I was just…I remember a book that I was reading, I never finished, and it disappeared. Just wondering where it went."

               "What book?" Fi eyed him curiously.

               "Uh…Going After Cacciato."

               "Oh, I have it, sorry."

               "It's fine, give it to me after you finish."

               And with that, everything was back to normal. 

TBC


	3. There He Goes Again

Disclaimer: Yeah, I think we know where this is going...don't own it, don't sue me.

The Wrong Kind of Paradox

Ch. 2— There He goes Again

               Jess Mariano was officially a vagrant. Ok, so maybe not in the clearest sense of the word, but he belonged nowhere. And he had been practically everywhere, so that was saying something. He never seemed to fit, and if it seemed like he might, he quickly changed that, and ran.

               He didn't know where it came from, this longing to run every time he got too close to comfort. Probably Jimmy. But heck, even Jimmy was able to settle down, never mind that he had to go to California to do it. So what kind of a loser did that make Jess? 

               It wasn't like he was a complete waste of air and living space. He could do something. He made a name for himself. All over the country, in fact.  Jess Mariano, traveling book critic, found in papers all over the U.S. Oklahoma, Nevada, Kansas, North Carolina, Georgia, Ohio...the list goes on and on. He just never felt like any of those places were for him. So, he did what had become a regular routine. Picked up and left, not a word to anyone. Nobody cared. Well, maybe they had once, but he was trying to forget about it. That's what the past was there for. It was done, it was over.

               So here he was. In his car, on his way to New England. He hadn't been near New England since he was nineteen. Yet he was going to Connecticut. He hated Connecticut, passionately. But the newspaper in Hartford was in so-called dire need of a book critic, and he was in need of a job, so...it made sense. Well, when he got in the car it did. Now...he was ready to run back like a scared little kitten.

               '_Get a grip Mariano. It's been sixteen years. Nobody cares anymore. Nobody knows you anymore.'_ And it was true. Not a soul had truly known him for the past sixteen years. 

               '_Besides, she's probably married. 2.5 kids, white picket fence...'_ he thought to himself bitterly. Ah, what did it matter? She was an old girlfriend, high school girlfriend. They don't matter. Its not like he thought about her. Ever. She was just...in the past. 

               Ok, so he thought of her. Not often. Or every freaking minute he lost grip on current reality. And if no one was in the room with him, that happened quite often. He wasn't pining. Jess never pines. He just wondered what could have happened if he hadn't screwed up, if he hadn't left, with everything, not just her. And she was a huge part of him at that time, memories of his senior year weren't just his, they were hers too.

               He could still remember how beautiful she was. So simple. But beautiful. And his. He was supposed to keep her untarnished; yet he failed. He always did. So that was the last straw. He was leaving, before he could do anything to her.

               Besides, Luke was there too. That's what was making him apprehensive, not Rory. Luke tried, Jess knew he did. But he was just so mad at that point, so fed up with just everything in general, that he didn't really care what he did. So Luke kicked him out. Big deal. It would have gotten screwed up eventually. Thing is, Luke would probably still be there. As much as he claimed to hate the town, he wouldn't leave. Rory, on the other hand, was probably gone, off being a foreign correspondent, living glamorously elsewhere. Granted, she would pop in occasionally. But Rory wouldn't be there.

               There he goes again. Thinking about her. He shouldn't, can't do that. He'd never be able to pull off a job in Hartford if he kept this up. 

Plus, who said he had to go back to Stars Hollow? There was no reason to. So he just wouldn't go.

Except he was turning toward the exit for it. So much for that plan. Why was he doing this, again? Something about reliving his past? Maybe becoming the world's biggest glutton for punishment?

In the next few minutes, the landmark gazebo became visible. Complete with blinking lights circling the top. Great. Looks like he landed right in the middle of some freaking festival. Of course, that was more likely than not. As he drove past Miss Patty's School of Dance, all the resentment against this town began to flood back. 

He drove through town, not really sure where to go. He was ready to just turn around, just back into a parking lot and he was out of here. 

Then, he was in front of Luke's. Stars Hollow being what it was, with the added time of eight p.m., he was able to completely stop in front of Luke's diner without being hassled. Jess just sat there, staring. Looking a bit harder, he could see Luke, wiping down the counters. _'Guess this town is stuck in a time warp. Huh.'_

Suddenly, a family sitting in the far corner caught his attention. Laughing, talking. Disgusting how happy these people seemed. As he glanced a bit longer, the realization of who they were hit him like an eighteen-wheeler. It may have been sixteen years, but time didn't seem to affect her. Rory Gilmore.

Well, Rory _Forrester_ by the looks of it. The disgusted expression that had left his face with the realization had now resumed its position. She married bag boy? What the heck? Two kids? He couldn't see them well, but he saw a boy and girl, teenagers. Whoa, what? Rory had teenage kids? His Rory? Well, _Dean_'s now, but still...huh. Today was full of surprises.

Very irked, and ready to leave, Jess was ready to leave this town like he had before, without a word to anyone. That is, until he drove by the Dragonfly Inn. Something possessed him to stop, and stop he did. He walked in; hoping nobody would recognize him, hoping the most that Lorelai didn't run it. 

"Hello, sir!" It was some chirpy blonde at the concierge desk, thankfully unrecognizable. He quickly arranged for a room, making his way up there before he could see anyone he knew. He still wanted a chance to leave, if he so decided.

_'Get ready for this Mariano. Torture at its finest,'_ he thought bitterly as he entered the room. '_This is gonna be a swell time.'_

Downstairs, the inn owner tried to process what she had just seen. Was that...yeah, it was. It had to be. She heard the name. Still, she had to hassle Tonya for the guest list, to make sure she wouldn't be splurging on the hearing aid anytime soon. Her horrors were confirmed. That...that..._hoodlum_ that broke her daughter was back, again. 

"Jess Mariano," she whispered to herself, not wanting to believe it. 

But it was. And if her name was Lorelai Victoria Gilmore, he wasn't getting near Luke or Rory. Over her dead body.


	4. Time Was Standing Still

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I think we know where this is going...don't own it, don't sue me.**

**AN: Ok. I owe you guys a thousand apologies. I'm so sorry. I've been under so much stress, but now that my exams are finally over, maybe I can get this story moving again. I may be writing a couple of one parters, I'm trying to find my writing style (check out my Reminiscing, wink wink. lol.) I don't really like this chapter, but I needed it. Bear with me. **

**Dedication: The .ORG Literatis...I love you guys. I'm doing this because...I kinda put one of our...slogans, lol, in here with out realizing it. Again, love y'all!**

******The Wrong Kind of Paradox**

** Ch. 3—Time was Standing Still**

"You know what, fine, I really don't care!"

"Yeah, whatever."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what it says!"

"You are impossible!"

"Whatever."

Fiona huffed into the diner, seating herself at the counter and banging her head down in mock frustration. Ollie had to be the most impossible brother on the face of the Earth.

Luke smiled inwardly at the familiar scene. He glanced at the clock. 4:03. Yep, never fails.

"So, Fi, what's the debate of the day?" Luke asks her.

"Oh, school: the necessary evil. A certain dark haired relative of mine thinks the 'necessary' part should be left out."

"He skips?" Luke seemed concerned.

"Oh no, not yet, but I'm sure he's been contemplating it. Freaking James Dean wannabe." Fi rolled her eyes. Luke just chuckled slightly.

"I'll go get you some coffee."

"Thanks," Fi said, resuming her earlier position.

"FI!"

Fiona heard the shrill cry behind her and whipped her head around, smiling. Sure enough, in came Kate Shapiro, Fi's best friend since...well...forever. She was bubbly, blonde, and basically the complete opposite of Fi herself.

"So, how was hell?"

"Fiery, as usual."

"Still waiting for that ice to come, eh?"

Fiona smiled. "And how was good old Stars Hollow High? Super fantastic, I trust?"

"Old, not so sure about the good...I did catch the most interesting conversation, though."

"Oh, do tell."

"Big Red versus Juicy Fruit."

"I do believe our generation has hit an all time low."

"Right there with ya, sister."

Right then, Luke walked in to hand Fiona her coffee mug. "Anything for you Kate?"

"Umm...just some fries, please. Want any Fi?"

"Nah, I'll just have some of yours."

"Two fries, Luke."

"Hey!"

"Well, I'm hungry, and sharing with you would be just giving it to the wolf pack." Fiona playfully glared at her best friend.

Luke just smirked, surveying the scene around him. Pretty typical. Fiona and Kate sitting at the counter, bantering back and forth, arguing over food. Kirk had moved in to the table next to the window, beside the door. Apparently, it had a good view. Why he would want...no, never mind, Luke didn't want to know. The normal random townies gossiping, Taylor glaring at regular intervals through the window in the Ice Cream Shoppe. Then there was some guy in the corner, staring at the menu, looking at his watch kind of nervously. He had just kind of sat there for...huh, about the last hour. Funny, that was the only thing. Out of place. Come to think of it, nobody had just sat there for...probably about sixteen years. Ever since...

Stop.

No. This was just...a coincidence. That guy in the corner wasn't, couldn't be...no. History was not repeating itself. No.

Yes. Who was he kidding? Luke's vision was perfectly fine, and even if it weren't, he still would have recognized him. Huh. He'd forgotten how much Ollie looked like Jess. Fiona looked like Rory, but not this much. Ollie was the spitting image of his father.

Crap. Jess was back. Ollie and Fiona...they didn't know about him. They couldn't know about him. Jess didn't know about them...why the hell was he back? Did he need money? After sixteen years..._sixteen years!_...it wasn't very likely.

Dang it. Fate came to bite him in the butt, and chomp down it did. Jess was Jimmy. No other way to put it. Was it really sixteen years ago, Luke was chasing Jimmy out of the diner, looking in his wallet to find it belonged to the idiot who hurt his sister and nephew? Yep. And there Jess was. Same spot as Jimmy. Idiot.

Luke had tried. No one could say anything against that. But alas, sometimes trying doesn't work. All he wanted to do was keep Jess from falling, but off the cliff he went. Well, no one was running to California this time, not if he had any say about it.

He walked over to the table. Man on a mission. "Jess."

Jess looked up, semi-surprised. "Luke," he answered in a calm voice.

Luke remembered the first time they had started a conversation like this. Nope, not getting nostalgic. Not now. "Upstairs. Now."

"Why, Uncle Luke, I'm touched. You do care. I've been fine, you?"

"Now." Luke stomped of, up the stairs.

Jess rolled his eyes. He stood up, pausing before following his uncle. "Huh. Guess time doesn't exist in this world."

Fiona happened to look up. Some how, in the midst of all this, the entire town remained oblivious to the stranger in the corner. But Fiona saw. She saw the guy follow Luke upstairs, saw how Luke acted with him. "Huh."

"Earth to chick-i-poo, what's up? Are back in reality yet?"

Fiona turned to look at Kate. "Chick-i-poo? Please, if you have any concern for my sanity, you will never say that again." Kate just rolled her eyes again and giggled, resuming whatever it was she had been babbling about.

But still...Fiona wondered. Something was up. Luke never had any visitors. Huh. And...Why did...no. He didn't look like Ollie. Not at all.

But he did. And that was really...strange. Just...strange.

**TBC**


	5. Beaten and Broken

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I think we know where this is going...don't own it, don't sue me.**

**The Wrong Kind of Paradox**

**AN: Eh, this took longer than I thought it would...sorry bout that. Also, I'm leaving Sunday for the beach and I won't be here all week...so this may be the last update for a while.**

**Dedication: Michelle, Claire, and Karina (who's still MIA...), the other 3 CLs...Because of our bondage in the love for Jess and hate for Rory...**

**Ch. 4— Beaten and Broken**

"What's this, Uncle Luke? No welcome back party?"

"You...you...do you even know what you left behind?" Luke started to yell at his nephew, forgetting that there was no way for Jess to even guess the destruction he caused.

"What, some pig races? Oh, maybe a barn raising!" said Jess, rolling his eyes.

"Do you even care about the people you left behind?"

"Anyone I left behind was ecstatic that I left!"

"Oh, don't you even start that! Don't even try to pull a pity Jess card, you aren't getting one! You just left! Ever think about telling anyone? Because, believe it or not Jess, the entire world is not out to get you!"

"And they were just so willing to help!" Jess felt his words come out, more bitter than he thought they would be.

"Jess..." Luke had been there. Luke had wanted to help. He just wasn't sure if Jess knew that.

"No, Luke! Don't even say that you could have helped me, that anyone could have helped me, if asked for it! I screwed up, I know! I didn't come here to have it rubbed in my face!"

"Why did you come here?" Luke had suddenly realized that Jess would never come back, not unless he had to.

"I...I got a job."

"In Stars Hollow?" Luke raised an eyebrow, skeptically.

"In Hartford."

"Then what the hell are you doing here?"

"Just...passing through." It was close enough to the truth, anyways.

"Are you out of money? Need a place to stay? Cause I'm not offering here, Jess."

"What? No, I already told you, I have a job!"

"I already let you in twice Jess...you don't get another chance."

"Are you even listening? I. Have. A. Job!"

"Then why, Jess? Thought you'd come to see how much damage you could do? We've had enough of it!"

"We? Who else did I hurt, Luke? Don't tell me that the whole town didn't pitch on the celebration when I left." Jess just rolled his eyes.

"Don't give me that crap Jess...she cared about you. You know she did!"

Ah, Rory. Jess knew it was coming...he hoped to avoid it. It wasn't like he still had a thing for her...it just made him feel like more of a screw up. It was bad enough he failed high school, but to fail at a relationship with a girl he loves...

No, loved. Past tense...it was sixteen years ago. He moved on...she moved on. She moved right in to bag boy's arms...

"Who?" Huh, that's right...best pretend that he didn't think about her anymore. That he didn't pine...cause he didn't.

"You know who Jess. Don't think that we would all forget you left Rory!"

"Look, its ancient history! She doesn't even care anymore, why should you?"

"What? How do you know..."

"I saw her yesterday...drove by the diner. She was with Dean...and she has kids. Why would she even think about me anymore? It's...it's not like I've thought about her!"

Luke softened, hearing the tone of his nephew's voice. He was still hung up on her. He didn't have any right to be, but still, Luke knew the feeling.

"She was hurt Jess. When you left."

"Not for long, was she?" Jess scoffed. "When? Her and Dean...when?"

"Fifteen years ago," Luke said softly.

"Huh. She doesn't waste time, does she?" said Jess, with a hint of anger in his voice.

"You have to understand, Jess..."

"Understand what? That she runs into his arms every time the big bad Jess hurts her feelings? Yes, Luke, I understand perfectly fine." Jess had tried to hide the hurt on his face at this statement, but to no avail. Luke hated how he had no idea...maybe he should just tell him. Tell Jess that he was a father. That Dean was the one there for Rory, that she wanted her kids to have a father. But no. It was Rory's decision to not tell him, it would be Rory's to reverse it.

"Just...go talk to her Jess." Jess looked like he was about to protest, but instead, just nodded his head and walked out. Luke sighed to himself. What had he gotten himself into? Wasn't the whole point of not telling him to avoid conflict? Well, he had just shot any peace to hell. Crap.

Rory Forrester was walking down to Luke's Diner when it happened. She had been planning on meeting her daughter there after she got off work. Well, she would have been going to meet her son too, but it was highly unlikely that he would be there. He had been going off lately, off to "out"-wherever that was. He been acting more and more like his father...but she tried not think about that.

But then it happened.

She wasn't entirely sure she hadn't been imagining it, she had before...but she hadn't done that since she was eighteen. When she was still foolish enough to think he was coming back.

But it was real. He was real. He had to be...he looked older. She would have imagined him still eighteen. Of course that was illogical, it had been sixteen years.

Sixteen years. And he didn't even know.

So that was why, for the brief moment they made eye contact, she stood stock-still. Not entirely sure what to say, or do, next.

He decided for her. He just bolted. Funny how that always happened. He just ran, leaving her staying in the dust. At least this time, it was literal.

And then it hit her. Jess was back. Everything she had worked for in the past sixteen years would quite possibly come tumbling down.

So she just stood there. Staring at the path he left behind. Wishing she had the will power to do something more.

TBC 


	6. Pieces of the Puzzle

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I think we know where this is going...don't own it, don't sue me.**

**The Wrong Kind of Paradox**

**AN: Ok, this will be the last chapter for about a week.**

**Ch. 5— Pieces of the Puzzle**

               Rory walked into her home with her daughter later that evening. Fiona noticed the apprehensive look on her mother's face. No, it was more than that...it was almost a blank look, as though she wasn't really aware of what was happening around her. And earlier, when she had met her mom in Luke's, she had been acting weird. Instead of wildly describing her day, as she usually did, Rory had just sat there, drifting in and out of reality. Fi had lost track of how many times she had to stop herself and say "Mom, you listening?" It was strange...

               Come to think of it, everyone had been acting strange today. Luke seemed nervous, ever since he got back downstairs after talking to...whoever that man was. Especially around her mom, come to think of it. Luke had stuttered when he took Rory's order. Luke _stuttered_! And Rory had been no better, not even making eye contact with Luke.

               Could the two possibly have something to do with each other? No, her mom had just probably had a bad day, or something. Nothing to do with Luke, or whoever that guy was. But...the guy had come out of the diner right before her mom came in...Maybe he said something to her mom? Why would he say something to her though?

               Fiona decided to just shake it off. It was probably nothing, just her being paranoid again.

               Rory watched her daughter go up the stairs, probably to start on her homework or something. Her daughter. And not Dean's. She almost forgot that sometimes. And she had been perfectly content to pretend that they were. As far as they new, the twins were Rory and Dean's. And they were. They had raised them after all. But...every time she started to forget, something would come back and remind her that, biologically, at least, they were Jess's. Like when Ollie smirked, or she saw Fiona read Hemmingway. Or if she thought about their names too long.

               And of course, today. Jess hadn't changed. Sure he looked a bi more... mature, but he still looked like she remembered him. Leather jacket and all. She could still remember the smell of the jacket, his smell. Kind of musky. A bit of cigarette smoke mixed with grease. And then something else she couldn't quite put her finger on.

               Rory's trail of thought was interrupted when the door open behind her, letting Dean in. She snapped out of her daze as her husband bent down to softly kiss her.

               "How was your day?" Dean asked with a smile.

               "Oh, um, not too bad. Newspaper should be out without too many last minute glitches." Rory gave a weak smile.

               "Good, that's good." Dean chuckled slightly. "What's going on?"

               "Um...can we talk?" Rory asked, looking around.

               Dean frowned. "Are you ok?"

               "I'm fine...I just...I need to talk to you."

               "Ok then..." Dean said curiously, leading his wife into the living room.

               As Dean and Rory went off, the door opened again, revealing Ollie. He started up the stairs to his room, but stopped when he heard his parents talking. His mom sounded...upset? And his dad was concerned...he was intrigued now. Ollie placed himself carefully next to the door to the next room.

               "I was walking towards of the diner...and...And..."

               "What? What was it Rory?"

               Ollie frowned. Just then, his sister joined him.

               "About time you got here. Where've you've been?"

               "Shut up, I'm trying to hear!"

               Fiona eyed her brother curiously. She stood closer to him and started to listen herself.

               "He's back Dean. I...I don't know why. I didn't talk to him. He saw me; at least I'm pretty sure he did. And them he ran."

               "What? Who's back? Not..."

               Rory bit her bottom lip, quickly glancing toward the picture frames hanging on the wall, the pictures of Ollie and Fiona.

               Dean sighed. "Jess?" Rory gave a quick nod and the tears started rolling down her cheek. Dean grabbed her closer to him, so that her head was leaning against his chest. He ran his hand down her hair. "Don't worry about it, it'll be okay. Maybe he'll be gone soon. Nothing has to happen because of this. Rory just gave another nod and shut her eyes tightly.

               Outside the room, Fiona and Ollie were standing, looking thoroughly confused. Jess? Who was Jess? Why would he upset their mother? And what did their dad mean by 'Nothing has to happen because of this?'

               "Ollie?" Fiona whispered, pulling him out of earshot of their parents.

               "Yeah?"

               "Earlier, in the diner, there was this man. Luke saw him, and seemed kind of mad at him. He told him to go upstairs. Afterwards, the guy sort of ran out of the diner. And then Luke came down, and he was acting all weird, he was kind of out of it."

               "Okay..." said Ollie, obviously confused.

               "And...I'm not really sure, but I think he called him Jess."

               "So diner guy upset mom? Still doesn't make much sense."

               "I know...it's strange, none of it really makes sense."

               "None of it? What else?"

               "Well...this probably just a coincidence or something. Never mind, it's not that big of a deal."

               "Fiona! Tell me!"

               "Well...he kind of looked like you. Like, exactly like you. Your hair, your eyes...he was your height."

               "What, so we have a triplet now?"

               "Ollie!" Fiona cried, exasperated with her brother. "Come on! He was older anyways, like mom's age. And...And this is stupid. I'm sitting her speculating for nothing, and you aren't even listening to me seriously..."

               "Fi. Fi, stop. I'm listening. It's just...a bit strange. Exactly like me?" Fiona just nodded like this. The twins stood in silence for a few seconds.

               "Let's go." Ollie said suddenly, breaking the silence.

               Fiona looked at him curiously. "Where?"

               "Just not here." Fiona looked at her twin gratefully as he lead her out of the house and onto the Stars Hollow streets.

               Rory and Dean came out of the living room just in time to see the two teens leaving the house. Rory sighed.

               "How much do you think they heard?" Rory asked.

               Dean just shrugged. "They might have heard all of it, but that doesn't mean they'll figure anything out."

               Rory still looked worried. "Fiona was already in the diner when I got there. And he was coming out. So she saw him."

               "It doesn't mean anything. Don't worry about it. They probably just got upset when they heard you upset."

               "They're smart Dean. They're going to figure it out. Maybe we should just tell them" Rory sighed. "But I don't want to tell them. You're more of their father, Dean, You raised them!"

               Dean his grabbed his wife's shoulder's in a sign of support.

               "And this is Stars Hollow! They talk! And they all know Jess got me pregnant 16 years ago! And now that he's back..." Rory was cut off abruptly be Dean's lips on hers.

               "Stars Hollow cares to much for you and our kids to say anything. And if it does get out...well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

               Rory nodded, and buried her face into Dean's chest. "I just wish it was over. I don't want them to get hurt...I don't want to get hurt again."

               Dean sighed. If he ever found Jess...well, he actually hoped he didn't. He would go at any length to protect his family...even if it was thanks to Jess that he had them in the first place.

**TBC**


	7. Hang a BullsEye On Your Soul

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I think we know where this is going...don't own it, don't sue me.**

**The Wrong Kind of Paradox**

**AN: Ah! I'm sorry! I really didn't mean for it to take this long. I outlined this chapter while I was on vacation, but when I got back, everything I wrote was crap, and I couldn't just get into it. So I wrote another story, it's finished now. But now that I've got that idea out of my head, I can write this again. Oh, and I've got plans...big and masterful ones...tries to cackle evilly Also...I'd really appreciate feedback, because this is the first time I've actually had to write Lorelai, and I'm not so sure how well it turned out...**

**To HalfCrazy: I'm sorry that you seem to feel I'm abandoning this story. I'm not, I promise. I had that idea for a while, and what was originally a one parter branched out. Don't worry; I'll try to focus on this. I'm glad you like it so much and hope you continue to read!**

**Ch. 6— Hang a Bulls-eye On Your Soul**

On the other side of town, Jess Mariano was trying to inconspicuously enter his room at the inn. He had finally taken notice of the sign hanging above the front desk.

Dragonfly Inn. Reopened May 6, 2004. Owned by Lorelai Gilmore and Sookie St. James.

When he saw it, he immediately did the most rational thing he could think of.

He panicked.

Yes, that's right. Jess Mariano panicked. He was scared of his ex-girlfriend's mother. Pathetic? He thought so. Not that he had much room for such thoughts, because it seems that with panic, comes an overload of the mind. All of a sudden, all he could think of was Lorelai screaming at him, tearing him limb from limb.

But that wasn't rational. After all, it had been sixteen years. Rory was the kind of girl to have guys line up for her as soon as the last loser was out of the picture. And he had seen her with Bagboy, she seemed very married. Why would Lorelai care anymore, let alone remember him?

It wasn't Lorelai he was afraid of. He was afraid of her mentioning Rory. If Rory was mentioned one more time, if he saw her one more time...well, he wasn't quite sure what would happen, but it wouldn't be good. It would very likely involve an actually confrontation with her. Despite Luke's encouragement, he wasn't ready for that.

And there was always the possibility that Lorelai was very, very good at holding grudges, therefore resulting in his dismemberment.

After his little internal debate, Jess decided he was better safe than sorry. Which left him practically creeping down the hallway, looking over his shoulder every now and then.

Jess Mariano had hit his low point. He was a grown man sneaking around an inn to avoid a woman he hadn't seen in sixteen years. A crazy woman, mind you, but still.

He finally reached to door to his room, almost letting out a little sigh of relief.

Of course, that was the moment he heard the angry stomp of fashionable-yet-affordable high heels behind him.

"Jess!" He turned around, a reluctant scowl on his face.

"What?" Jess said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, don't you even start with me!" Lorelai said, anger rising in her throat.

"Gee, nice way to treat the paying customer."

Lorelai started to lash back out at him, but took a deep breath. "Listen. I'm going to tell you this once, and only once. I don't know why your here, but I really don't care. Just stay away from Luke and Rory. You will not hurt them again; you will stay away from them. I'm trying to be civil now, but if you try to cause anymore damage, I swear I will rip you limb from limb and enjoy every second of it."

"Not that I'm not enjoying our little pow-wow, but if we're done here..." Jess gestured to the door.

"I meant it Jess. You have no clue how much you hurt them when you left. They both did nothing but try to help you, keep you on the right path, and you repay them by throwing it all back in their faces!"

Jess just stared at her in response.

"Obviously, you don't care. Wow, you're more cold-hearted than I thought." She started to walk away.

"I wasn't trying to hurt them." Lorelai spun back around, slightly shocked by his words.

"Yeah, well, best intentions..." She managed to choke out. He just nodded and went into his room. Lorelai stood, rooted to the ground, trying to swallow the sincerity in Jess's voice. Just then, her cell phone rang, snapping her back to reality.

"Eh...um...hello?" She managed to sputter out.

"Mom? Is this a bad time?"

"Rory? No, no, it's fine. It's a great time actually. Why, did it sound like it was a bad time?"

"You just sounded a bit distracted." Rory said suspiciously.

"Distracted? Well, I was. Distracted. We're were in the, uh, the kitchen, and Sookie broke the, uh, the...thing."

"The thing?" Rory questioned.

"The thing." Lorelai confirmed.

"Okay then. The thing."

"So, um, why were you calling? Not that I don't appreciate a call from my offspring every now and then, 'cause I do, but you sounded like you needed to tell me something."

"Oh, yeah, I...nothing, it was nothing. I just...wanted to see how you were doing! And obviously, you're busy with your...thing, so I'll just let you go." Rory said, talking quickly, hoping that her mother wouldn't notice cowardice in her voice.

"Hold on, you are not hanging up yet. Rory, what's going on? Because you, oh brilliant child of mine, are far too smart to think you can hide anything from me. Why, I am Wonder Mom! With the power to sense lies, uncertainties, and hidden coffee!"

"Right, because it wouldn't be any fun if you couldn't find the coffee." Rory tried to hide her nervous state with a chuckle.

"Right. So. Why the frantic phone call?"

"I wouldn't say it was frantic..."

"Hush, child! Now tell mommy what's wrong!"

"How can I tell you what's wrong if I'm supposed to hush?"

Lorelai rolled her eyes. "Quickly. My hair is just getting grayer!"

"Oh, well if your hair color is at stake..."

"Rory!" Lorelai said, exasperated.

"Fine! It's no big deal...just, when I was going to the diner earlier, I kind of saw someone I hadn't seen in awhile, and I didn't really expect to see him."

"Uh...who?" Lorelai said nervously, already knowing the answer, but willing herself to be wrong anyway.

"Nobody. It was nobody."

"Well, nobody sure seemed to have an effect on you." Lorelai took a deep breath. "Come on sweets. Just tell me, okay?"

Rory mumbled something incomprehensible into the phone.

"What was that? Sorry, haven't sprung for the hearing aid yet. A bit louder this time?"

"Jess! It was Jess! I saw Jess, and he's back, and I don't want him to be back!" Rory started crying.

"Oh, babe. I'm so sorry. I was hoping he would leave without you noticing him."

"You knew? You knew he was here and didn't tell me so I could prepare myself?" Rory was on the verge of screaming, tears falling freely now.

"What? No, I just found out...well, I saw he check in last night, but I was hoping he'd be gone by this morning, and I just now told him to stay away from you..."

"You talked to him?"

"No! Well, yes, but...all I did was tell him not to come near you! I didn't know you'd already seen him!"

"Oh," Rory said quietly. __

"I just don't want to see you get hurt, you know that."

"I know." Rory whispered into the phone. They two women remained silent for a moment. "Hey, mom?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"What if...what if I have to tell the twins about him? I mean, should I? I think they heard me talking to Dean earlier...they're smart. They'll figure it out. I don't want them to figure it out! I don't want them to hate me! And Jess! If tell the twins, Jess is going to find out. In fact, he might find out before that! This is Stars Hollow! He's going to get disapproving looks, and then one day someone will tell him the reason behind those disapproving looks..."

"Rory! Rory, sweetie, slow down. Breathe!" She instructed.

"I don't want my kids to hate me!" Rory cried.

"Oh, Rory...they won't hate you. But...if you're so sure that they're going to figure it out, it might be easier coming from you."

"I know. I just...I don't want to tell them! I don't want them to get hurt!"

"It'll hurt worse if they find out on their own." Lorelai said gently. "And as for Jess...we don't know how long he's going to be here. See what happens after you tell the twins, if you decide to tell them. We can cross that bridge when we come to it."

"Yeah. I love you, mom."

"I love you too sweets." Lorelai paused. "Do you want me to come over? You know, extra shoulder to cry on?"

"No, no. I'll...I'll be fine. I should go. Thanks mom," Rory hung up.

"Anytime, Rory. Anytime." Lorelai whispered to nobody in particular.

**TBC **


	8. Me and the Moon

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I think we know where this is going...don't own it, don't sue me.**

**The Wrong Kind of Paradox**

**AN: Again, sorry for the wait. My muse took a nice long vacation without warning...but don't worry, it's been reprimanded. Um, I officially love Something Corporate for bring my muse back. Lol. Oh, I just realized how slow this is going...and...I tried to make it go fast, I swear! But it wouldn't listen! But no worries, it'll pick up in the next few chapters. And expect an update in a couple of days.**

**Ch. 7— Me and the Moon**

Fiona and Ollie were still roaming around Stars Hollow. You would think that it wouldn't take long to tire of the town's four-block radius, but neither one wanted to go home. They were naturally curious, and they were afraid of the questions they would ask if they were to go back. Or rather, they were afraid of the answers. Isn't that how it always went? To avoid the truth, don't acknowledge its existence. In this case, fulfilling that philosophy included wandering aimlessly for as long as possible. It doesn't matter where you go, as long as it takes you as long as possible to get there.

So of course they ended up at the old bridge, constant object of countless fundraising events.

Without a word, they claimed their positions on the bridge. She sat on the edge, legs dangling off the side. She stared outward, her gaze becoming blank, emotionless. If it was anyone else, you could call it stony. But she still had those sapphire eyes.

He stood facing her profile, unsure of what to say, do, feel. How do you break an awkward silence when you're too scared of what would come next?

She made it easy for him, breaking the smothering fog of stillness.

"Do you believe in fate?" She kept her position, her voice almost monotonous; save for a slight quiver, surely brought on by held back tears. He was glad that she didn't face him with a questioning look as she usually did; he was speechless enough as it is. What do you say to a question like that, one that comes out of nowhere, with a sort of 'make-it or break-it' tone to it?

He decided to say nothing.

It seemed the right thing to do, for she took a deep breath and answered herself. "I think I do. No, I'm sure I do."

This time he managed to crack out a pitiful question.

"Why?" She shook her head at this, finally turning to look at him.

"Fate put me in the diner this afternoon. Fate put you next to the door when mom was upset. Fate pulled me down the stairs in time to hear the name Jess. Fate had Luke notice the man while I was there."

Ollie looked at her, not sure what to say.

"That's not fate, Fiona. You go in the diner every afternoon at the same time. I almost always come home around that time. You heard the door open, that's why you came downstairs. All that stuff, its just a coincidence. You don't know that any of this is connected." Said out loud, it sounded logical. But even he had a hard time believing his words. Fiona just stared in disbelief.

"It's not a coincidence. You know that," She whispered quietly. He looked down at his feet, not wanting to answer her. She mistook his silence for skepticism. "I thought...I thought we were on the same page here. I thought you were going to help me figure this out."

"There doesn't have to be something to figure out." She turned away from him again, staring at the moon floating above the water.

"Fine. Now please leave," She said almost timidly. He started to oblige, but turned back to her after a few steps.

"I do believe you." She didn't say a word. They both just stood there, alone with their thoughts.

They didn't –couldn't- know of two similar teenagers, standing in almost the same manner seventeen years prior. They didn't –couldn't- know that they were only mirroring the beginning of it all, or that they were marking the beginning of something equally significant.

Jess lay on his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. He had meant what he told Lorelai. He didn't want to hurt Rory or Luke. But that didn't change anything, he had. He couldn't even explain himself; he had tried to, but found no excuse for what he planned to do.

_Jess sat in the diner, alone. Luke had gone to bed, giving him nothing to do but second-guess himself._

_He was going through with this. He would leave. He wouldn't hurt her anymore. He'd seen her, not able to come into the diner, and he hated that he made her like that. So he would leave, it would be better this way._

_He owed her an explanation. Heck, he owed Luke an explanation, despite their shouting match a few moments ago. So he tried. He got out the paper and the pen and tried to write._

_Nothing sounded right._

_I'm sorry was too pathetic. Then again, so was he. He really was sorry, but he was leaving anyways. He had to. _

_No, he didn't. He was scared, so he was running._

_Time to be a big boy._

Jess had ignored the voice in his head. He crumpled up the paper and threw it into the trash.

He was such an idiot; he realized that now. He had realized it then too, but he hadn't tried to fix it. He liked to think that he had grown up since then, however.

So, what now?

He knew what he needed to do. However, actually caring it out was an entirely different story.

He caught a glance of himself in the mirror. Pitiful. A grown man always running from his problems.

He picked up the phone book from underneath the nightstand and started to look up Forresters in Stars Hollow.

TBC 


	9. Taste the saline rolling down your cheek...

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls. Surprise, isn't it. I also don't own the title of this chapter, it comes from Something Corporate's Down. Yes, I'm obsessed.**

**AN: Sorry this took so long, I know I said a few days...I got blocked. Again. And this is un-beta'd, cause I really wanted to get it up...so I'm really sorry if there are mistakes, feel free to correct me!  
Half-crazy--I'm sorry about using cliffhangers, and I think this story's moving a bit slowly. I have a general idea of where I'm going with it, but when I write the chapters, I just stop where ever it feels like. And again, I'm sorry, because...well, I kinda left a cliffhanger again, lol.**

**Ch. 8-- _Taste the saline rolling down your cheekbone..._**

Rory had been sitting at her kitchen table; head down in her arms, when she heard the front door slam shut. Slowly, as if underwater, she got up and walked into the main hall of her house.

Her children, her perfect, beautiful twin babies stood just inside the doorway. They stood about two inches apart, not touching, not looking at each other. They didn't say a word, didn't seem to acknowledge her presence. Fiona stared down at her shoes, keeping her focus, not letting herself get distracted by anything around her. Ollie let his eyes wander on anything but his mother and sister, searching, always searching, for something else. As Rory took not of this, she couldn't help but notice how much he was like his father (Because, like it or not, Jess was his father. She had to come to terms with that now, she'd been ignoring it for sixteen years.) in the way he was always searching for something different.

Staring at her children, both unable to look at her, she knew what she had to do. She had to be honest. It was very likely they'd already figured it halfway out, but she needed to tell them. It was a gut feeling, and she had to follow it no matter how much her head disagreed.

It was ironic, she thought, how almost every gut feeling she had since she was seventeen connected to Jess in one way or another. Dating him, sleeping with him, keeping the babies. And now this. This terrified her the most, because as much as the other decisions had affected her life, she _knew_ this would do the most damage.

And, hell, it scared her.

ooo

The streets were empty as Jess walked through Stars Hollow. It wasn't really late, but it was Stars Hollow, and that was reason enough. It suited him, though. He never liked the people in this town, they never liked him. He remembered a night with Rory, so long ago, telling her how he hated them.

_"This whole town is weird and full of jerks."_

_"Then why are you still here?"_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"I mean, school's out and you don't like it here, so why don't you just go home?"_

_"My mom didn't want me to."_

_"I don't believe that."_

_"That's your right, I guess."_

It was the one time he was with her that he let the conversation really focus on him, his past. He had never liked getting into that with her, never wanted her to see his past. But it was kind of nice, someone actually caring enough to listen.

He couldn't think about that now, the memories. He'd forget she was married, set himself up with false expectations. He probably shouldn't even be going to their house, talking to her. But Luke had said...

What the hell did Luke know? It probably wouldn't make a difference if he were to just turn around now and drive away. To where, he didn't know, just...out. Away from Stars Hollow, away from her.

Because as much as he would hate to admit, the idea of talking to her...well, it terrified him like hell.

ooo

"Guys...I need to talk to you," Rory said timidly. Finally, Fi and Ollie looked up at her.

"Sure," Fiona whispered. Ollie just nodded his head. The twins followed their mother into the family room.

It was a very awkward setting, Ollie and Fiona sitting on one couch (on opposite sides), Rory sitting in a chair across from them, fidgeting slightly. As if this wasn't going to be hard enough, they had to start with a fog of uncomfortable silence hanging over them. Rory stared blankly at a spot on the wall for a few seconds, not knowing where to start, not wanting to start.

"When I was seventeen, I met a boy," she started shakily, unsure of where the words were coming from. "He was smart, he read the same books as me, had good taste in music...for awhile, I thought he was perfect." She paused, these memories were too painful to relive. She closed her eyes for a second before regaining her composure.

"I had a boyfriend at the time, but that seemed so trivial at the time. I mean, I'm living in this small town, working my way out, and this guy comes from New York of all places, and he was just so different from anyone I'd ever met. At first...at first, it was an escape for me, being friends with him. And then I started falling for him. It was...it was horrible...or wonderful. It was one of the most screwed up messes I've ever gotten myself into." Both twins were looking at her now, staring intently. Fi had her fist clutched tightly, upset at seeing her mother in so much pain, hating the boy how had done this to her, whatever he had done.

"Eventually, my boyfriend broke up with me because he realized I was into the other guy. It was public, and humiliating, but I was kind of relived. I could finally be with this guy I had liked for the last year, and was too afraid to do anything about it." She paused, thinking about how good it was to finally be with him, and the pain that came so shortly afterwards.

_"You're definitely broken up with Dean?"_

_"I'm definitely broken up with Dean."_

"Everything was good for awhile. But he was messed up, I realize that now. Like I said before, he was unlike anything I'd ever seen. He had a bad childhood, he didn't know how to be in a relationship, I guess. Which would have been okay, if I hadn't been fallen in love with him. If there's one thing I've ever learned, it's that love just gets in the way, makes things worse and more painful when they have to end, because they almost always do," she said darkly. She was never this cynical; she supposed it was just those repressed feelings coming out and all. She took a deep breath before moving on, knowing this would be the hardest part for the kids to here.

"One night, we went to a party. We never went to parties; I was never that girl, the party girl. He just didn't like the people. But your Aunt Lane's band was performing, so I went and dragged him with me. But the whole night he seemed off. He was never sociable, but he at least talked to me most of the time. He disappeared at one point. I went upstairs, found him sitting in one of the bedrooms, staring at nothing. He looked so sad." Rory felt a shiver go down her back. The memory was so vivid, walking in there, knowing something was wrong, wanting so desperately to make it better.

"I tried to talk to him, but he just kissed me. After awhile, I gave up and just kissed back. And we were kissing, and somehow, we landed on the bed.

_She felt the soft fabric beneath her, in the back of her mind knowing there was something different about this, more than a simple make out session. She felt his hand slip under the hem of her shirt; it felt rough and warm against her bare skin. _

_Gently, she moved her hand to help him take of her shirt, then letting her hands wander to his waistband. Vaguely, she wondered if she was ready for this._

_As he kissed her collarbone tenderly, she had her answer._

_There was nothing that was more right than this._

Rory felt tears sting her eyes and tried to fight them back. She tried to continue, but was barely able to choke out words. "I...I slept with him. It was my first time, and I didn't regret it. But then he left, fled the state. I think he went to find his dad in California; I didn't really want to know. All that matter is he was gone." She shook with unshed tears now, the memories flooding back at full force.

_Rory slowly walked into her kitchen, finding her mom sitting at the table, staring blankly outward._

_"I'm going to do it, Mom. I'm going to tell Jess I'm pregnant. I've thought about this for a while, and it's the best thing to do. I'm mean, I'm sure he'll be there for me. And if not...well, then I don't want him to be. Plus, he's going to figure it out anyway, once I start showing. I know, I could just where baggy clothes, but I'm sure he'd think something was up if I started wearing bagging clothes."_

_Lorelai looked up to meet her daughter's eyes. Tears lined her eyes._

_"Rory, baby," she said slowly, motioning for her to sit down. _

_"Mommy?" Rory said timidly, afraid now. Something was wrong, very wrong._

_"Jess is gone." Rory stared back incredulously. _

_"Luke doesn't seem to think he's coming back."_

Rory pulled her head into her hands, wanting to hide the sobs, which now shook her body. There was no way she could continue the story now.

Thanks to the king of inconvenient entrances, she didn't have to.

ooo

Jess stood in front of the Forrester's home for several minutes, contemplating the consequences of actually ringing the doorbell. Worse case scenario, he figured, Dean opens the door, butcher knife in hand.

Hey, at least he wouldn't have to talk to Rory.

He really needed to stop being a wimp and ring the damn bell. He reached his hand out, but couldn't bring himself to touch the bell. He just stared at his hand for a second, thinking about...nothing, everything. He didn't really know anymore, had lost all ability to sort his thoughts out.

He jerked his hand back, brushing against the doorknob in the process. That's when he noticed the door was slightly ajar. They must not have been paying attention last time they closed it.

This had to be some kind of sign. The door was open, he had the ability to shut it and run, or see what lie behind it.

For once in his life, he chose not to run.

ooo

Both Rory and the twins looked up suddenly at the sound of the family room door opening. Logically, Rory thought it must be Dean, but somehow, she knew it wasn't.

Her suspicions were confirmed at the sight of the dark haired, slightly disheveled man standing in the doorway.

"I...the front door was open." Rory nodded numbly, and just stared at him. He looked older, more mature. Well, of course. Sixteen years will do that to a person. He looked...scared, she decided. It was in his eyes.

"I talked to Luke and..." he shook his head slightly, trying to regain his composure. He had thought he had gotten up the confidence, but seeing her just completely knocked it all out of it. He had seen her briefly earlier, but closer up...she look so worn. He looked up, straight into her eyes. "We need to talk."

At that moment, Fiona's eyes got wide. It was the man from the diner. She had been right. About...what, exactly? She knew something was going on, with this man (Jess, Luke had called him) and then her mother's sudden need to tell them her past, but she had never thought of what that something might be.

At the same time, both twins turn to look each other in the eye. And in that moment, they knew. Images of their mother and Jess floated through their minds, melding. And they each saw their twin in the melding of those two images.

Ollie broke away from his sister gaze, and surveyed the scene.

For the first time in his life, he sat in a room with his sister, mother, and father.

Father?

Yes.

Jess was his father.

ooo

Jess finally took notice of the two teens sitting on the couch, Rory's children. The girl looked so much like her mother, but more petite. And there was something in her face that was more defiant than Rory could ever be. The boy had unruly dark hair, dark eyes, and a rebel without a cause look to his whole demeanor.

There was no way these were Dean's kids.

He looked at the kids for another moment before turning back to Rory, who had stopped crying at was now staring at him intently, her eyes boring into him.

The realization hit him like a fist to the gut. These weren't Dean's kids.

Shit.

He was a _father_.

TBC.


	10. I don't want to feel this small

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls, hence the name _fan_ fiction. Chapter title belongs to Something Corporate's 'Fall'.**

**AN: Sorry again about the slow updatage. Oooh, I just made up a word. Cool.**

_I don't want to feel this small..._

Timing is a funny thing. It goes right along with fate, and that's never something to be messed with. When negotiated with properly, it will work in your favor, and all is well. But if it doesn't...well, you're screwed.

Fate never set well with Gilmores. Marianos weren't too fond of timing.

So of course, Dean decided to check up on his wife at this moment. You can imagine his confusion, seeing a family (_his_. No other man's, _his_.) standing together, motionless. And suddenly, Dean felt seventeen again. And that, my friends, was _not_ an age he wanted to revisit, not in this situation.

"What's he doing here?" Dean heard his voice come out in a growl, much more anger directed at his wife than he intended.

Rory just looked at him, dazed. Here was this man who loved her, loved her children, when she needed him most. He stood by her the whole pregnancy, held her hand during the birth. He married her, vowing to take care of her and raise the children his enemy had fathered. He was perfect, ideal. The family they had built together was perfect, ideal. Now nothing would be the same. They could pretend, but pretending never turned into reality. She'd been pretending for sixteen years, pretending that Jess never existed, that she had never loved him, that she didn't want him there, raising their children along her side, and look where that got her. Everyone still found out it was all a lie, and now everyone was going to hate her. Damn it, damn _him._

Dean's expression softened a bit as he saw his wife's eyes glazed over in thought. He'd gotten so caught up in the old high school rivalry; he'd almost forgotten how much she had to be hurting. He walked over to her and sat beside her, putting his arm around her. However, he couldn't help but direct a glare towards Jess.

Jess didn't seem to notice Dean, or anyone in the room. He stood still, staring at his shoes absently.

A father? He was a...a...father?

That didn't sound right. Never, in his thirty-four years had he thought of himself in connection to that word.

Father.

He couldn't be one. Not now, not thrown into it like this. What was he supposed to do anyways? Raise them? No, they had to be sixteen. That was practically adulthood, they were pretty much raised. What did she want him to do? Just say "oh, how nice," and back away?

Fiona interrupted his trail of thought, her voice coming out harsh behind obvious tears.

"Mom was just about to explain why she lied to us our entire lives."

"Fi-" Dean started desperately.

"No. Don't try to sugarcoat everything. I want an explanation."

"It was complicated..."

"Doesn't really seem like it to me. He's my father. You're not." The room fell silent. Dean felt her words sting him. He _was_ her father. Jess hadn't been there, _he_ had. He raised her, damnit.

"Fi, maybe we should just...go," Ollie said gently, speaking up for the first time in a while. He tugged on her elbow gently.

"I don't want to go. I want answers."

"Fi, maybe we should just go calm down first."

"Calm down? You want me to calm down? I just found out my dad isn't my dad, and I don't even know the guy who is! Why are you so calm? You should be freaking out! This most definitely calls for a freak out!" She screamed at him, breaking into harder tears. Ollie was able to pull on her arm, forcing her up. Surprisingly, she let him lead her out of the room. This was just too much to handle at one time, maybe he was right. She should think first. Rational thought.

Rational? This whole situation completely blew rationality to bits.

Once the twins left the room, Jess seemed to come back to reality. Rory had lied to him. She let him leave without telling him she was pregnant. He would have stayed; she should have known he would have stayed!

Huh. First time in sixteen years he had let himself blame her for anything. Strange what it had to come down to.

He looked up at her, forgetting about Dean.

"Why?"

"Excuse me?" She looked at him, always polite, even in the midst of hysteria.

"You lied. Why?"

"I didn't think it mattered. You wouldn't have stayed, you wouldn't have wanted to. I didn't want to burden you."

"Damnit Rory, that's bull and you know it!"

"Jess..." Dean spoke up, threateningly. "You should go." Jess stared intensely at Rory for a moment, before nodding and walking off.

"Dean, I...I really need to talk to Jess," said Rory.

"No, you don't. Rory, you don't owe him an explanation."

"I know," she whispered. She kissed him tenderly on the cheek. "I have to do this. I just...I have to. Trust me."

She hurried out of the room, hoping to catch Jess before he went too far. Dean stared at her retreating form.

"I trust you. I just don't trust him," he whispered, to nobody in particular.

ooo

Rory ran down the street after him, actually ran.

"Jess, I need to talk to you."

"Didn't seem to want to in there," he replied bitterly. He picked up his pace, knowing that she'd have to run after him, hoping she'd give up. Just go away, back into the lies.

"Would you stop running?" she gasped, out of breath.

"Would you stop following?" He mimicked her tone.

"Jess!"

"Rory," He said, finally stopping. It took her by surprise, and she stumbled a bit.

"Can we...go sit? Somewhere...somewhere not here?" She said, looking around at the public street.

"I don't see why you can't say what you have to say here,"

"Jess, please," She said desperately, and that was the end for him. He couldn't stand to see her hurt, desperate. He'd done that to her enough. He nodded and led her off towards the bridge. He didn't really want to go there, too many memories. But it was the only quiet place he knew of in Stars Hollow.

She sat down quietly, and he followed suit. She was a bit uncomfortable here, but she was the one who asked to go somewhere out of the way.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you I was pregnant," she said, so softly he wasn't sure he heard her.

"Why didn't you?" he asked gently. No need to upset her.

"I was afraid, I guess. I mean, I was eighteen. I wasn't ready to be a mother; I hadn't even graduated from high school yet. I didn't really want to believe it, and if I told you, I would have had to."

"I would have been there."

"I know you would have. That scared me too, though. You would have stayed with me, and then you'd end up hating me for it, because you didn't want to stay, but you had too...and I just couldn't do that, Jess." For the first time in sixteen years, she was being honest to herself. She knew he would have been there, but thinking that he would have left made everything so much easier.

"I wouldn't have hated you. Maybe held a grudge against you," he smirked, and she smiled a bit, weakly. He'd missed that, seeing her smile, wondering what the hell she saw in him. "But I never would have hated you."

"You don't know that. Raising two kids when you're a teenager, it's hard."

"I still wouldn't have hated you, Rory. I would have wanted you to tell me. Do you know how hard it was, looking at the kids, knowing they were mine, but I don't know a thing about them?" His voice trembled slightly.

"Do you hate me now?" She whispered.

"No, I just...I wanted to know. I wanted to help you raise them, I wanted to know them. I...I never meant for you to have to deal with this. And I'm such an asshole; I just left, and didn't talk to you. Maybe if I had you would have told me and you wouldn't have had to do this alone!" He raised his voice a bit, more angry with himself than anything else.

"I didn't have to do it alone. I had my mom and..."

"Dean," he finished for her. She nodded. "Why did you go back to him?" It was a simple question, not angry or accusing.

"I was scared, and he loved me." She said, afraid of what Jess would think, for some reason.

"Do you love him?" Jess's voice was hoarse, the words barely coming out.

"I'm married to him."

"That's not what I asked." What the hell? He was so frustrating. She married Dean, which was the equivalent of loving him. Wasn't it? She had never doubted it before, but with Jess here, making her think about it...she wasn't sure, and she hated herself, because this was the one thing she should be sure about. She was tempted to say, yes, she did love him, but she wasn't sure if she could form the words.

"I don't know. I'm not sure what I know anymore." That much was true. She buried her face in her hands, absently thinking that she should be crying. But no, her skin was cool and dry against her palms. Jess awkwardly pulled her towards him, wrapping his arms around her, making big, wide circles on her back.

She was confused out of her mind, but for once, she felt free. No lies, no burdens.

She wasn't sure if she liked it, but she thought she might.

ooo

Fiona had stormed into her room, Ollie following her. She threw herself face first onto the bed, feeling Ollie's weight on the side of the bed.

"I hate them," she said, her voice muffled. "All of them."

"I know," he said, and he did. He felt like throwing something, but restrained himself for his sister. Right now, she was the only one he could trust, if only because they were on the same page.

"How could they just not tell us that our entire lives were a lie? That our dad isn't our dad?" she turned to face him, face red.

"Maybe they were scared," he reasoned, knowing that it had to be true, but still not thinking it a valid excuse.

Just then, Dean walked into the room.

"Can I talk to you two?" Dean said, hesitantly.

"No. We don't want to hear anymore of your bullshit." Ollie said, voice steady. He was going to have to be the calm one, for Fiona.

"Ollie..." Dean pleaded.

"Leave." Dean looked like he was about to reply, but thought better of it and retreated.

Fiona buried her head into her brother's shoulder. Ollie sighed, rubbing her back.

This sucked. This really, really sucked.


	11. Darling, what are you doing?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls, hence the name _fan_fiction. The chapter title comes from Frou Frou's 'Shh'**

**AN: Yes, I'm insane. Blame Sarah (Love ya!). Uh, this probably won't be a recurring incident, but I _do_ have actual ideas no, so maybe I won't take as long. Hope this chapter is okay, I wrote it, but then I was afraid it just seemed like a filler...**

_Darling, what are you doing?_

Rory woke feeling warmth beat down on her cheeks. The air smelled like early morning, dewy, fresh. She didn't open her eyes just yet, not wanting to erase the remnants of her dream. She had been seventeen again. Everything had been so easy at seventeen. Besides the boy parts, those were always hard. But there were no boys in that one, just her, her mom, and Willy Wonka. It had been a good dream.

She stretched out a bit, circling her shoulder, trying to grind her way into her mattress. But for the first time, she realized her mattress wasn't there, just a hard wooden surface.

Wood?

Oh, shit.

Her eyes snapped open, black dots forming in front of them while her eyes adjusted to the light. Sure enough, she was still on the bridge. With Jess. She looked beside her, as to confirm it. Yep, definitely with Jess. Oh, Dean was going to love this.

But it wasn't like she meant to fall asleep talking to Jess! She didn't even remember exactly how it happened. They were talking, she was upset, she was crying...no, not crying. Dry, she remembered it was all dry. She couldn't cry, tears wouldn't come. Vaguely, she thought that maybe she'd already filled up her tear quota. That would be nice. Life without tears.

Snapping back to reality, she realized she would have to handle the situation at hand. Rory reached down, touching Jess's shoulder gently, as if not to wake him. Not wake him? Wasn't that the whole point, to wake him up? She shook her head, and proceeded to push Jess a bit. Hard, but not hard enough. Hmm.

Suddenly, she crouched above him, using both hands to push him as hard as she could. She hadn't intended for him to land in the lake...but by the telltale splash, she realized that was exactly what she had done. She brought a hand up to cover her mouth, blushing.

However, it had been an effective way to get him up.

"What the hell?" He shouted, as cool water washed over his body. He opened his eyes, blinking the water droplets out. "Rory?"

"Hi."

"Hi. What the hell was that for?"

"You wouldn't wake up," she said, simply.

"You're insane, you know that?" He pulled himself up, gripping the sides of the bridge. She had been leaning over, and now they were only a mere couple of inches away from each other.

"Th...That's what they tell me," her voice quivered. He wasn't supposed to be this close!

"Oh yeah?" he breathed.

"Y...yeah," she managed to choke out. She didn't notice Jess's hand reaching up, curving around her ankles. He pressed forward on the backs of said ankles, pulling her down. Rory didn't notice what was happening until she felt the water close over her head. She popped up, shaking her head viciously.

"Jess!"

"Well, they say payback's a bitch," he smirked, and she couldn't help but laugh at him. She playfully splashed at him. "Oh, you want to play like that?" He dove under the water. Suddenly, she felt his hands tickling her as he rose back up.

"Jess! Jess, stop!" She laughed, this felt so good, so right. She hadn't laughed like this in quite sometime. At last, he pulled away from her. They looked ridiculous, two grown adults, splashing in the water while fully clothed. Well, she had started it.

She was so beautiful, in all her wet glory. Her hair clumped up in larger wet strands, her eyelashes stuck together with the water droplets. When he'd seen her the night before, it scared him. She looked so worn, like too many years had taken their toll on her. He hated thinking that he did that to her. Absently, he wondered if he looked like that too, worn. The years had been long, but he didn't think they were that long.

Without thinking, they both moved forward, almost simultaneously. He tentatively placed his hands around her waist, as she ran her hand through his hair. Her breathing was shallow, and for a moment, she wasn't sure if he was breathing or not.

For some reason, his eyes broke contact with hers, landing on her right ring finger. And then he remembered Dean. Dean was there before him, after him. Dean would always been there.

He pulled away from her, not wanting to look up at her directly.

"I have to go."

"Go," she repeated slowly, as if not comprehending.

"I start my new job today. Can't show up wet."

"Oh, right. Work. Me too. I mean, I have work too. And the twins! I have to get them to school! I can't believe I forgot, just fell asleep like that. Dean is going to be livid!" She was rambling frantic now, back into mother-and-wife mode. Jess nodded slowly. He got out of the water, pulling her up with him. Slowly, he rose up.

"Right. I should get work," he said, slowly.

"Oh, yeah, work. Um...good luck with that," she said, a bit too quickly. He nodded and walked off as she watched. Once he was out of sight, she closed her eyes, lying back down on the bridge.

Jess. Dean. Jess. Dean.

She thought she was done with this decision the day she said I do.

Then again, she had though she was done with that decision way back at that party.

Funny how things turn out. Some things can stay the same, while completely changing at the same time.

ooo

Fiona woke up to light streaming through the window blinds. She rolled over, stretching her arms out, only to hit something on the other side of the bed. Or rather, someone. She cocked open one eye, seeing her brother next to her. They must have fallen asleep during her bout of hysteria.

She realized it was Tuesday; she'd have to go to school. That seemed so trivial right now, education, when her life was changing completely. In the back of her mind, she scolded herself for being such a drama queen.

Rolling over, she checked her digital clock. It read 8:22. Oh great, now she was going to be late on top of everything else. Maybe Ollie had been right. In the grand scheme of things, school was vastly overrated. She'd much prefer, say, honesty.

Yes, she was going to be holding a grudge for this one for quite awhile.

She wandered around her room absently, thinking that maybe she should just take a well-deserved mental health day. Yes, that would be nice. She could be all girly, maybe have a facial, and paint her toenails.

For the first time, she noticed the post-it sticking to the mirror on her vanity. It read: _Fi and Ollie—Had to get to work. You can skip today; we'll come up with an excuse. Love, dad_.

Dad. What a joke. He wasn't her father. Sure, he had raised her, but he lied to her. She didn't even know this man, not like she thought she had.

Maybe she would go to school. Even if it was just to spite him.

Fi picked up the note, staring at it in the palm of her hand for a while. The words blurred together, until they weren't really words anymore. Or maybe they were words, they just didn't matter, she didn't care to read them. Anger set in the pit of her stomach, not necessarily at him, but at the whole thing, her entire existence. It was all one big scam!

Surprisingly calm, she tore the note to pieces, letting each bit slide through her fingers. Falling, falling. The sooner they hit the ground, the sooner it's done with, out of mind. Until you glance down and had to see the pieces, broken, scattered.

Was she going crazy? She was analyzing a post-it, for goodness sake!

She didn't know what to think anymore.

ooo

Rory walked up her driveway, still soaking wet. She'd probably gotten some strange looks, walking down the very public Stars Hollow streets just as everyone was starting their day completely wet. She didn't really care. She wasn't sure if she had passed anyone, though she must have.

She stared up at her house. It looked so big, so consuming. She hadn't wanted this. She liked the comfort of small spaces. They were cluttered, but everything was contained enough so that you could still find things. Small spaces were warmer, friendly. People focused, not furniture.

Dean had wanted a big house, in a nice neighborhood. He liked the space. He would be too claustrophobic in an apartment, or anything of the size.

Apartments didn't make anyone jealous. He would never say, but she knew he like topping everyone else. It was the athlete in him, the competitive side of him.

The house seemed to grow the longer she stared at it. She felt so small, so small!

Was this what she wanted? She frowned. A week ago, she would have said yes, unhesitant.

She turned her head slightly, seeing a strand of wet hair graze he shoulder. She fingered it gently, letting it slide across the tips of her fingers. It felt cool, smooth. She smiled, a genuine smile.

From a second story window in the house that wouldn't stop growing, Fiona looked down at the woman in her driveway. Her mother. But her mother never looked like this, this childlike. This happy. But Fiona herself was in so much pain. How could her mom be so happy?

Love.

But love with whom? To that, Fiona had no answer. Frankly, she was afraid to come up with one.


	12. Tension and the Terror

**Disclaimer: I don't know on the characters. They belong to ASP. The title of this chapter comes from the Straylight Run song of the same name.**

**AN: I'm so, so sorry about the wait. Seriously, guys. I don't really have many excuses, other than school's a bitch. Also...I'm a bit worried about this chapter. It plays out in my head alright, but it seems weird written out. So, drop me a line.**

**Dedication: The ORG Lits, yet again, because they're amazing, and I honestly don't know what I'd do without them.**

**Chapter 12—The Tension and the Terror**

Rory stepped into her house, still soaking wet. She was dripping on the carpet, but that didn't really matter. She called her children's names, wondering if they were still there. Dean may have already taken them to school.

Though, that wasn't very likely now.

The memories of the night before came crashing at her. She had been able to forget the pain of it, while she was with Jess.

Alone. Alone with Jess.

She groaned inwardly. Dean was going to have a fit. High school all over again, oh joy.

She snapped back to reality when she saw Fiona descending the stairs. Her hair was still wet, her eyes were red and her face blotchy. (Crying, Rory thought. My baby's been crying, and it's my fault.) She was dressed in her Chilton uniform though, even if it did look less put together than usual.

Fiona stopped when she saw her mother at the bottom of the stairs.

"I'm going to school," she stated the obvious to break the silence. "I'm late." Rory just nodded slowly.

"Want me to take you?"

"We've already missed the bus."

"Oh," Rory paused. Fiona was never this cold, not with her. They were close, really close. Bonded by coffee and shared DNA. "Where's Ollie?"

"He's still getting ready. I just pushed him in the shower a few minutes ago." Rory nodded again. She had to fix this.

"You...you want me to make you some breakfast?" Rory offered lightly, but her voice was trembling slightly. She hated that it had come to this. She gave a slight smile to her daughter, and after a moment, Fiona responded faintly.

"Sure." Rory let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. She walked into the kitchen, Fiona following, and began to rummage through the refrigerator.

"Mom?" Fiona spoke suddenly, and Rory turned sharply. "Where...where were you last night?" (All night, she thought. Where were you all last night?)

"I...I had to talk to Jess."

"Oh. Oh, that's good. Was...did you have a...a nice talk?" Fiona felt the words come out in a jumble, she didn't have control over anything anymore.

"I think some things got cleared up," Rory said. "I...I hadn't said anything to him either, I mean, he left..."

"Mom," Fiona cut her off. "Mom, don't. Please don't. I can't talk about this, not right now. Can we please just...talk later?"

"Okay," Rory half whispered. She turned around and went back to scrambling eggs. Fiona just stared at her back for awhile.

"You're wet," she noted. Rory stared at Fiona a moment before glancing back down at her outfit. It was till soaking, she noticed, and she blushed a slight red.

"We fell asleep on the bridge," she noted sheepishly, offering no other explanation. Fiona just nodded. "I guess I should probably change at some point, huh?"

"Yeah." Silence, again. "Right, well, I should go make sure Ollie didn't, you know, drown in the shower. I think he may have been half asleep when I pushed him in the bathroom," Fiona said, rushing out of the tension-filled room.

Rory placed her elbows on top of the counter, resting her head in her hands.

This was going to be a long day.

ooo

Rory had dropped the twins off at Chilton after a very uneasy car ride, and was now entering the Hartford Chronicle building a hour and half late.

But, there was a bright side. At least her clothes were dry.

As she rushed into her office, she noticed a piece of paper taped to her computer monitor. Upon further inspection, it proved to be the newly hired list. Normally, as editor, she'd go over the applications before anyone started working, but they were shorthanded, and she had so much, she just let the assistants do it.

Well, was that a mistake.

According to the list, there was a new critic starting today. A Mr. Jess Mariano.

Rory shut her eyes. This wasn't happening. This really wasn't happening. At of all the places he could possibly be working at, he choose her newspaper.

Fate really hated Rory Gilmore.

As if on cue, Jess appeared in her doorway, looking uneasy.

"I, uh, I didn't know you worked here," he said, awkwardly.

"Nobody said you did, Jess," she sighed, and plopped down on her chair. He moved further into the office, pulling a chair out next to her desk and sitting across from her.

"I'm not following you, or anything."

"I believe you, Jess." What to say, what to say? What _is_ the proper thing to say to your estranged ex-lover whom you've unknowingly conceived two children with?

"So. Editor. Impressive." Yeah, that works.

"Well, it's not exactly CNN, but it's nice enough." Awkward turn to the conversation. Make Jess feel bad for putting her on a lesser path. Not exactly her intention.

"What happened to Christiane Amanpour?" Jess wanted to smack himself as soon as the words came out. ('Way to be insensitive, asshole,' he thought.)

"She got pregnant and had to raise twins," Rory replied a little more bitterly than she intended. "I couldn't just leave Dean alone to raise my children while I went and reported from the trenches with bombs going off in the background." Jess became silent. Rory took a deep breath. She screwed this whole thing up so badly. It wasn't Jess's fault he wasn't there. "I didn't mean it like that, Jess. I'm sorry."

"I know," he whispered. He moved his hands over hers on the desk and she smiled at him weakly. "What are we doing here, Rory?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "I haven't talk to Dean since I went after you last night."

"Okay. I...I should go back to work," he said, standing up.

"Yeah. Yeah, you should," she shook her head, and turned to her own computer. And with that, he left.

ooo

Fiona and Ollie walked down the halls of Chilton just as students were being dismissed for a class change. Ollie was playing the over protective brother more so than usual, practically escorting Fiona, who was in somewhat of a daze, down the halls.

"You two are late," Jake Marlow commented, falling into step beside them. "You're never late"

"Wow, observant today," Ollie shot at him. He so wasn't in the mood for this.

"Something wrong?"

"Everything's fine."

"Really?" Jake stepped in front of them, causing them to stop. He stared at Fiona. "Everything fine with you too?"

I'm fine Jake. Please, leave us alone," she said, softly but firmly. The two locked eyes, and then Jake nodded.

"Okay." He turn and left, and Fiona immediately collapsed into the nearest set of lockers.

"Fi?" Ollie asked, concerned.

"I'm not okay."

"I figured as much," he looked her over, trying to understand what she was thinking. "What's going? Last night, you were screaming, and I couldn't get you to calm down. Not that I'm complaining, I kind of like you quiet," he paused, and she had to smile. "But this is unnerving, Fi. You know something I don't."

Fiona took a deep breath.

"You know how mom never came back last night?" She waited for him to respond in the affirmative before continuing. "She was with Jess. All night, she was with him. She said they fell asleep on the bridge. I saw her come home this morning, Ollie. I looked out the window, and she was standing in the driveway. She looked so happy."

"Oh," he replied, his voice sounding hollow. He wrapped an arm around his sister, steering her back toward the hall traffic. "Come on. We should get to class." He sounded so monotone, and it scared Fiona even more.

ooo

Rory approached the coffee machine in the workroom, but stopped in her tracks as she saw a mass of unruly dark hair. Jess turned around to look over his shoulder, having heard footsteps. Seeing it was Rory, he set down his cup, and began to pour another, handing it to her when he was done.

"Aw, you remembered," Rory said, feeling oddly at ease.

"Not easy to forget." He looked at her with an intensity that made her think he wasn't just talking about coffee. "Look, Rory. I've been thinking a lot about this. I realized, I know nothing about my kids. I didn't know they existed until less than 24 hours ago, and I had to track you down to find that out."

"Jess, I'm sorry. I am. I couldn't tell you, I didn't know how!"

"No, Rory, I'm not blaming this on you. There are just a lot of things I don't understand. I know we don't know where we stand. I'm..." his voice faltered, "I'm fine with that. And I know I missed out on a lot with twins. I'm turning out to be my father, and that's the one damn thing I never wanted to be. I just...I don't even know their names."

Rory smiled weakly.

"Fiona Catherine and Oliver Holden."

"Oliver Twist," he smiled, remembering a night of a pretty stranger and margin notes. "And Catcher in the Rye. Nice. What's Fiona from?"

"I was reading Tomorrow When the War Began," she said. "It was between that and Ellie, and I was hopping she'd be graceful."

"Is she?"

"Yeah. She dances," Rory smiled. "I trip when I walk, sometimes."

"I remember," Jess smirked, and Rory swatted at him playfully.

"You haven't guessed Catherine yet," she pointed out. He paused a second, in thought.

"A Farewell to Arms." She nodded. "You hate Hemmingway." She just shrugged.

"You don't." He stared at her a while, before she tugged on his arm, pulling him towards her office.

"Come on. What else do you want to know?"


End file.
